Army Language Test

One of the interesting things that happened to me while in the service, like many others, occurred while I was still at the Reception Center at Ft. Leonard Wood, Missouri. The Reception Center, incidentally, was where they put you before you actually go to Basic Training. It involved a haircut, (which they actually charged me for,) uniform issue, hygiene lessons, learning how to walk in formation and a lot of shots. Did I mention, a lot of shots?

So, it came to pass, one day, that they had us standing in formation, after a not too long march, outside of what I would describe as WW II style barracks. (A lot of buildings had that appearance. ) I can still picture the trees and the structures themselves very vividly. We weren't there long before myself and several others were told to “fall out” of formation and report to one of the buildings directly before us. (I remember Shelby, who became our platoon leader later, being one of the recruits.)

We entered the building, which had at some time in the distant past, been converted into a class room of sorts. There were desks, like high school, and what appeared to be a teacher's desk at the front. I believe there may have even been a large chalk board behind the “teacher's desk.”

It wasn't long before, I think, an NCO appeared at the front of the room and began explaining to us why we had been singled out from the rest of the platoon. I wasn't quite sure if I was in trouble at this point, but I was terribly curious.

As he explained, we had been brought there because we all had done exceptionally well on our ASVAB, (Army Services Vocational Aptitude Battery) test. I felt special! We were now going to take another test. Oh, boy! This test, as it was explained further, was required before being able to attend a military language crash-course that Special Forces candidates were required to attend if they didn't already speak a second language. (Yes, Green Berets are required to be able to communicate in a second language.) He continued that we would spend the next couple of hours learning a mock language, that we would then be tested on and, if receiving a pass, we would be allowed to move to a special forces M.O.S. (Mode of Service.) Yipee! He also explained the scoring process, which was something to the effect of a required 116 out of a possible 150 or 160. Anyway, it seemed weird.

So, the test soon commenced and we studied made up words and made up grammar and made up sentences. It was not uninteresting or unchallenging. I suppose it took at least two hours and my brain felt a little fried when the entire process was over.

They then took up our tests, promising us an answer post haste. We all waited with curiosity and bated breath.

When I received my results, I couldn't help but laugh. I had achieved the absolute minimal score required to pass. Still, I passed. (I remember Shelby passed too.)

It was all a very fascinating experience and gave our small crew something to chat about and, perhaps,even, a small amount of more or less merited pride. Being singled out, as we were, not to mention actually passing.

Still, I thought it was funny in other respects. I was pretty sure SFC Johnson, my recruiter, had told me that I had done well enough on my ASVAB to do any job I wanted as long as it didn't include the Airborne. It seems flat feet and jumping out of planes don't mix. The Army obviously had my medical records, so they knew about my little deformity. So, I did find that entire scenario mysterious due to those little facts. But, hey, as I was too learn, there is sense and there is Army sense.

All in all, it was fun and curious, but it was to no avail. Airborne? Special Forces? Rangers? Green Berets? Not me! I've always heard there were two things that fall out of the sky: Fools and bird shit! I had already decided I was neither.